The Living God has three words for me

"But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies that they will be like his glorius body. (Philippians 3:20-21 NIV)

Last night was the usual lifegroup but it was an unusual night. I greatly sensed the Lord, stirring my heart. He told me:

I was teary-eyed, the Lord has touched my heart. I've been letting my issues at work and zealousness over material things take the best of me and forget about my God. Slowly, I've been sliding back without me realizing it. That whisper from God opened up my eyes once more. "Yes, Lord. I will return to Your grace and goodness. I'm sorry for my weakness. I will look upon You always and not at what this world has to offer."

"Lord, thank You for reminding me on setting my focus on heaven - that I will not let earthly things bound me, may it be problems or pleasures, for it's my heavenly reward that truly matters. Good morning Lord!"

of worship and tithing

i've been wanting to join the worship (vocals) ministry for a long time now and when i saw the SERVE ballot box at the lobby yesterday after the Sunday service, i thought it's time i join in. i looked for the application form and took it home to read. i was really excited to fill it up when i noticed that they're only looking for members to join in. :-(

i got really sad. my daughter saw me reading it and i told her that i cannot join since am not a member yet and she was equally sad for me as she knew i really wanted to serve God with praise and worship. this membership issue has been bothering me for quite sometime now, and i know one of the reasons am not invited to be a member yet is because i haven't been tithing.

but, I REALLY WANT TO. i want to honor God with my everything, including tithing. but i also want to honor my husband, who at this moment is not yet inclined to do so. he requests me not to do so when i ask him i will tithe. he says we cannot afford to do so because we send money back home (Manila) and we give offering every Sunday service anyway. i understand all this considerations but because i want to trust fully, i try to persuade him to do so without success. :-(

earlier this morning, tithing kept popping in my head. i kept on praying to God to tell me what He wants me to do about it, for Him to reveal to me what will please Him and i will happily oblige. when i came in the office, i launched IE and typed in "i want to tithe but my husband doesn't" on google. the first result hit me straight to my heart. it went:

(from The Centre for Relationship Enrichment website)

Question

I believe we should tithe, but my husband doesn’t. My husband is a Christian, but he believes tithing isn’t necessary. I disagree. How do I honor my husband and honor God?

Answer

Tithing itself is not a difficult concept. Christians should live their lives open-handed - acknowledging that they are merely stewards of God's possessions. They should always be willing to give 100% of that which they steward at any time required by the Lord (Matthew 19:21). Indeed, they should even be willing to offer their very "...bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God...." (Romans 12:1).

While some argue that tithing is an Old Testament principle, Jesus never taught against it, pointing out that in Matthew 5:17 Jesus said He came to fulfill the law, not abolish it. Jesus actually affirms the practice of tithing in Matthew 23:23 while warning not to neglect the practice of "justice, mercy and faithfulness." The New Testament teaches and encourages generous giving. 1 Corinthians 16:2 sets out four principles for giving - it should be regular, personal, proportional and voluntary.

But tithing has raised some difficult questions. And, since tithing involves money, it’s a prime candidate for conflict between a husband and wife. The question "do I tithe even if my spouse objects" isn’t an unusual situation, especially in light of our unpredictable economy. A recent study by researcher George Barna found that only 3 percent of Christians tithe - a decrease from 8 percent in 2001. The principle of tithing, it seems, is not widely practiced as it once was and certainly is not widely understood as a critical form of worship.

First, the issue is how to "honor" your mate and the Lord. In terms of honoring your husband, if he strongly objects to tithing, we believe you need to respect those objections and place it "on the back burner" until you are able to discuss the issue together. Ignoring his objections and tithing anyway would be extremely dishonoring. Since tithing is a matter of the heart, God will honor your desire to tithe even if you are not able to give. The Lord is not concerned about money, or how much or how little you give. He is much more focused on the attitude of your heart. If you have made commitments to tithe and your husband objects to giving, God will see the desire of your heart to tithe and He will honor that commitment. God will bless you because of your attitude, not because of giving. The Scriptures make this very clear: "Each man should give what he has decided in his own heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver" (2 Corinthians 9:7). Thus, there are no set amounts or percentages of income dictated, rather, "...if the willingness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what one has, not according to what he does not have" (2 Corinthians 8:12).

We’d also encourage you to understand the "real" issue. Don’t get caught in the trap of making the issue about "tithing" - to tithe or not to tithe. That discussion is a total waste of time. At this point, arguing about who’s right or wrong, or what the Bible says about tithing is a waste of time because it’s not the real issue. Get to the real issue, but use "curiosity" instead of judgment. If your husband doesn’t want to tithe, approach the issue with curiosity. If you say things like, "We are commanded to tithe," or "You’re not being a very good Christian," it will come across as judgmental. We’re quite positive that judgment shuts the communication process down. He’ll want to defend himself, remind you of what you’re doing wrong, or whatever. The bottom line is that judgment wouldn’t get you where you want to be.

The alternative to judgment is curiosity. Be curious about what the real issue is. Curiosity is honoring. Judgment is dishonoring. For your husband, the real issue might be his concerns about your financial security in an unstable economy. The real issue might be that your debt levels are so high and he feels you can’t afford to tithe right now. Maybe he does not like the church you are currently attending and his lack of giving is more about supporting a church he doesn’t believe in than it is about tithing? The point is to discover the real issue. And then just listen - seeking to understand. Resist the urge to debate or argue his concerns or objections. That will shut down the conversation fast. When you discover the real issue, it has an amazing ability to bring empathy and understanding when there was little or none before.

Crown Financial Ministries (www.crown.org) suggests a wonderful idea. You might want to ask your husband to let you give an amount smaller than the tithe for at least a year. If, at the end of the year, the family is worse off financially as a result of giving, you will agree to stop giving. If the family is better off, the husband may agree to give more. In Malachi 3:10, the Lord says to test Him in this thing (tithing). Often this is just the opportunity for God to prove Himself real to a doubting spouse.

i broke down to tears, especially when i was reading "Since tithing is a matter of the heart, God will honor your desire to tithe even if you are not able to give. The Lord is not concerned about money, or how much or how little you give. He is much more focused on the attitude of your heart. If you have made commitments to tithe and your husband objects to giving, God will see the desire of your heart to tithe and He will honor that commitment. God will bless you because of your attitude, not because of giving." He was talking to me and telling me, just as what Pastor Christie told us yesterday, "God is completely satisfied and happy with me because of Jesus."

i am at peace now that God sees my desire to tithe. i still yearn for the day to come that my husband will let me tithe and best of all, decide we can tithe together. thank you Lord for loving me and continuing to comfort me. there is no greater love than Yours. i love You LORD!

The highest occupation of the Christian life

My hubby actually messaged me this while we were chatting online:

The highest occupation of the Christian life is worshiping the Lord. Never allow your worship to become routine or artificial. Worship Him with a joyful and thankful heart by serving, singing, submitting and sacrificing.

Serving:
I do not claim to be the best in all my services unto the Lord, but I ask for His guidance to be the best for His glory. I am honored to be asked services for His kingdom's advancements and so, I do as I am requested to do by my church leaders as I know my Lord will want me to respect authority, especially spiritual authority. I do know I have a lot more room for improvement in serving Him but I always maintain one thing - willingness to serve.

Singing:
Thankfully, am musically inclined and praise & worship always engages me. It brings me unspeakable joy to sing my best for His glory and pleasing. I've actually noticed that nowadays, I don't even mind what people around me think when I praise/worship - how it really should be done anyway. I said this because before I'm a bit hesistant to engage myself fully during praise/worship but now, I even tear up when the song truly hits me.

Submitting:
Not so long ago, God tested me on this. I was diagnosed with multiple kidney stones and had to undergo 3 ESWLs as of this writing (am up for another one next month that will hopefully rid of all remaining stones). I was not afraid but I truly turned fully to His grace and mercy. I knew He was trying to make something of my life that will be a testimony for others to be inspired on for His glory. During these times, He showed me there are lots of people who care for me that has His spirit, who unconditionally love me above all. I learned to praise Him even more because I knew He was putting me under fire to rid me of my impurities and surface like a priceless and precious sword.

Sacrificing:
I think this the hardest part of worship. Sacrifice entails giving way for others' benefits. Jesus did the highest sacrifice of all - die for our sins to redeem us. I know I vowed to die for Jesus if there will come a time I will be asked to die for His name, but I know there are other sacrifices to be done until such time arrives. In my daily life, little sacrifices that can be done usually gets ignored - fasting, priority giving to the church over a new gadget I want on the market, spending time to advance the kingdom (such as preparing for church events). I admit I need more improvement on this area and I'm taking it day by day.

how is your worship gauge?

think, speak, act like a prophet

putting Christ in the center of one's marriage doesn't mean it's invincible to temptation by the enemy - it is even always tested so because the enemy delights in destruction. i fear not though, because i know the Lord will not allow temptation He knows i will not be able to flee from or overcome.

while i was busy putting on calamine lotion on my son's chickenpox last night, my hubby was talking about how vast it already spread onto his body. i was a bit irritated because he didn't want to give our son the anti-viral medicine the doctor gave to our daughter so i said, in an almost sarcastic voice, that it was because of that and he said we should just let it all come out. he snapped at me and shouted back saying why i was always complaining to him, why my mouth always open just to complain. i replied to him i'm just explaining why the chickenpox spread so much more than my daughter's but he wasn't listening to me anymore - he let his anger came over him. he kept on saying whatever he wanted. i was tempted to defend myself; instead i submitted to him. when i tucked our son into his bed, he went on to sleep. when i laid down beside him, i told him i'm sorry for my character (ugali). he mumbled, i think, "ok, we better get to sleep" and didn't even looked at me. it tore my heart out because even though there are lots of good changes i know he sees i do, he chooses to highlight every wrong things i do. other times he even tells me we will quit the lifegroup or church because it seems nothing is happening great out of it, which i fully disagree. i am not proud of myself because i overcame my iniquities before but i am proud of my Lord and Saviour Jesus for helping me do just that and freed me from my oppressions. and i knew Him thru that lifegroup, thru that church. i've learned on several occassions that people will fail you, even your loved ones, over and over. and it is not their fault, it is their nature's fault - for people are sinful by nature. as a Christian, even though it's hard i try to understand when people fail me, hurt me or disappoint me - sometimes knowingly - because it is what my Lord would have wanted, to be like Him. during these times, it is also when i can feel God's love the most because there is no turning to anyone but Him. and last night, that is what i did, amidst crying profusely with my heart bleeding. i was praying that the Holy Spirit fill me and that the Lord may comfort me. i didn't question why this was still happening to me, why even though i fervently serve Him i am still experiencing heartaches in my relationship with my husband. instead i asked Him, "Lord, what am i to do?" and when i reached out for my bible He told me:

He said to me, "Son of man, stand up on your feet and I will speak to you." As he spoke, the Spirit came into me and raised me to my feet, and I heard him speaking to me. He said: "Son of man, I am sending you to the Israelites, to a rebellious nation that has rebelled against me; they and their ancestors have been in revolt against me to this very day. The people to whom I am sending you are obstinate and stubborn. Say to them, ‘This is what the Sovereign LORD says.’ And whether they listen or fail to listen - for they are a rebellious people - they will know that a prophet has been among them. And you, son of man, do not be afraid of them or their words. Do not be afraid, though briers and thorns are all around you and you live among scorpions. Do not be afraid of what they say or be terrified by them, though they are a rebellious people. You must speak my words to them, whether they listen or fail to listen, for they are rebellious. But you, son of man, listen to what I say to you. Do not rebel like that rebellious people; open your mouth and eat what I give you. (Ezekiel 2:1-8 NIV)

i quickly understood what God wanted me to do: i must continue doing His will, and i must be an example to my husband. i must be a prophet to Him. i must continue to pray for him, reach out to him, encourage him - even though he is stubborn. i must continue to forgive him if he trespasses me. i shall not tire of loving him and respecting him as my husband. i shall not be afraid of what he will tell me for the Lord sends me to him. i shall not let the Good News get bottled up inside me, instead i should remind him even if at times he won't listen. He also reminded me that i must listen to Him - i shall not be rebellious to Him.

i also was very touched that the Lord did not condemn me, even though i have a fault in the way things turned out last night, with my husband getting angry at me. He just told me that i should just be my husband's prophet - and that there is no need to blame. i need to pick myself up and move forward. i delight in the Lord overflowing love for me.

before i went to sleep, i prayed over my husband in Spirit. i felt a great relief came over me afterwards. and as the Lord has blessed me since i received Him as my Lord and Saviour, His peace came to me once more and blessed me with rest - i slept like a baby.

i am not sharing this to show that my marriage is not one to follow but one to learn something from. i do not believe that there is one marriage without conflict at all. i am sharing this because i know there are hardships even loving couples have, especially those who confessed their love for Christ. for the enemy will try and destroy that love that is built around Jesus and in turn will destroy the relationships of those couple with people they are surrounded with. i do not claim to be perfect but i do claim i am holy for the Lord blessed me when i received Him. it doesn't mean i cannot commit mistakes anymore but i do try hard not to with the help of the Holy Spirit; when i do commit mistakes, i quickly repent to whoever i trespassed to and to my Living God.

i am very grateful for the Lord pours His love onto me over and over, each day i live. that He looks after me and speaks to me especially when i draw close to Him. and He reassures me of His love and mercy. how great is the Lord!

with this experience, i learned to be more vigilant and aware of the enemy's tricks. with that, i am unceasingly committing my marriage, my family and my faith unto the Lord. i'm claiming that my husband will be the husband, father, son, brother, colleague, friend and servant the Lord has prepared him to be. i eternally commit myself as well to the Lord to do His will and visions unto my life in whatever way He calls me to.

my very first "planned" street evax

when i was still a pre-believer, i used to think that people who approach me to tell me the Good News are either nuts, after my money (donation) or just have nothing else better to do. wow, how i was wrong! for now i am not just honored to do it for the Lord, but excited as well. :)

tonight, my lifegroup (Jehovah Rapha 2 of Elohim Unit, Central Yahweh Subdistrict, Hope Church Singapore) are going out to Bukit Panjang and Fajar to do our first ever street evangelism. for me, i couldn't say this would be my first as i've brought people to my lifegroup couple of times in transit - one by train and another in the bus. the thought of inviting someone you don't know to come to your gathering is a little bit frightening especially if you're not used to rejection - oh yes, there'll be lots of 'em. but still, in my experience my first informal street evax was spontaneous and felt very much guided by the Holy Spirit. i was just moved inside to do it and i responded. i am actually glad it paid off - that first person i did it to became an active member of our lifegroup and church. :) the second i did responded negatively though and it did discouraged me a little at first. but after seeking the Lord, i realized that these trying times must come in order for me to serve Him more. and there are perfect timing for everything as well. it doesn't mean that person did not accept it that time that he will never will - i know because i've been on that boat before and look where i am now, declaring that Jesus is my Lord and Savior. :)

i am going to fast from rice and viand later at lunch (will only eat fruit and drink water) and delay eating dinner until the evax is over so i can concentrate at the task that God has put into my heart. guide me Holy Spirit to the people i need to reach out to and may they respond to seek you as well and be one step closer to being saved.

God bless our street evax tonight! :)