i know from experience that nobody wants to be tagged as a sinner, impure or unclean. of course, we may not be perfect but it is human nature to rebuke the thought of us as "bad" as we normally see ourselves as good most of the time (or according to our standards) and may be occassionally lacking in holiness sometimes.
and yet this is the very reason why we must celebrate. for it is because we are sinners that Christ was sent to give us the gift of Salvation. God sent Jesus to save us from all our sins. it is written:
While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house, many tax collectors and "sinners" came and ate with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, "Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and 'sinners'?" On hearing this, Jesus said, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." (Matthew 9:10-13 NIV)
many of us are not humble enough to recognize the reality that we are all sinners - in our thoughts, in our speech, in our actions. we refuse to acknowledge that what we think, say or do actually is wrong. many people nowadays regard it as their own way or standard, therefore if applied to them should be alright. but that just doesn't make sense does it? because God clearly laid out His laws and if you break any of those commandments, you have sinned. therefore, you're a sinner. not even God's most beloved people, the Israelites, was able to keep all his commandments. and this is the very reason that Jesus came to redeem us. we cannot keep up to His standards that we need Jesus to be pure in the Father's eyes again because of Jesus.
i believe that people are good, simply because God made us so. what makes us otherwise are bad decisions - like the very first one made by Adam. we must not let Satan seduce our thoughts, speech or actions. i agree it is difficult to do what is godly because the world we live in does not respect His standards. but by defeating the temptations of this world, we are preparing our riches in His kingdom.
my friend, take the first step - admit that you are a sinner and receive Jesus Christ in your life as your Lord and Savior. You are then saved. The Lord will restore you in His likeness.
To God be the glory forever, Amen.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
my newborn testimony
I am the last person I expected to be a Born-Again Christian.
I was raised as a Roman Catholic. I remember praying rosary with elders, singing in the choir and making the sign of the cross whenever I pass by a church or start and finish praying. I know God created me, He watches over me and He gives me what I need or ask for. But I also know Him as a God who punishes, that whenever bad things happen to me it’s because He is displeased. So when I was growing up I knew Him as something like a strict parent – do what I say or suffer the consequences.
When I was in elementary education, I am every parent’s dream. I am the top student in my class every year. I always came in first place in interschool competitions. I study diligently. I never fail to pray during these times and I always come to Him in prayer, especially when I need to ask Him for something like winning a contest or acing an exam. Before my graduation, I was offered scholarship to a prestigious high school near my town. I was ecstatic because I prayed so hard to achieve this. My joyous feelings lasted until I was interviewed by the head mistress. She asked if my parents are working and I told her my mother is a fish vendor while my father works as an overseas worker in the construction industry. Naïve as I was then, I thought telling the truth sets people free. But my answer made her decide to offer the scholarship to another candidate, who she deemed needs it more than I do. I was upset and angry because I know I deserve it – financially and intellectually. I hated God for not giving into my wishes – to get that scholarship. I questioned Him over and over on what I have done to deserve losing an opportunity when I’ve been nothing but a good girl. My mother decided to still enroll me in that school even though it meant she has to work harder because the tuition fees are high. I suppose that triggered the rebel in me and even though I didn’t fail any of my subjects until I finished high school, I also didn’t try to excel as much as I did in elementary school. I also wasn’t praying anymore, except when I really needed help – during exams for example. My mother was disappointed with me, as expected, but I didn’t care as I was only thinking of myself. When at times our quarrels worsen, I asked God to kill me at that moment and when He didn’t I blame him all over again.
College came knocking on my door and I studied just to pass as opposed to trying my very best. Just a semester away from receiving my bachelor degree, I got pregnant. Again, I was angry at Him for giving me this problem. I questioned His judgment to give me a life I am not prepared to take care of. I was afraid that my parents will disown me but to my amazement, they came to my rescue and helped me and my, then-boyfriend, hubby to start on a new chapter of our lives as parents.
But even after seeing the silver lining, trouble seems to have taken a liking to me. Our marriage proved to be unstable even after the birth of our next child. Few years passed still and our marital problems just seemed to keep on coming. In June 2005, I flew to Singapore for a new job opportunity. It seemed fitting for me – the workload was relevant yet not as stressful as my usual job requires and I’ve normal working hours (8:30am-6pm). The next year, my family followed and lived with me. For a moment, things seemed to feel and look better. During these times, our family got invited by Joel and Josephine to attend their weekly caregroup sessions. Sometimes we make it, most times we have an excuse why we are not able to. I thought it was weird to be like that – sing and talk about God the way they do. It’s just not normal for me. My understanding of singing to God is inside a church and the only one who can talk about him is the priest while the parishioners listen and obey.
In February 2007, I had a change of heart. I decided to not extend my job contract and return to Manila to accept a challenging role in a new company. My hubby was disappointed. It meant my kids and I have to leave him, as a few months before my decision he got accepted to a job. But he understood my decision in the end and let us go back. During this long distance relationship, our fights resumed. It came to a point when we almost called it quits finally. I suppose God intervened and He led one of his men to us, named Pastor Boy (my younger sister's Pastor) . He only counseled to us once but with his words, he brought His wisdom that enlightened me. That is when I’ve decided my kids and I will return to Singapore, to be with my husband, for us to be a family together again. From hereon, I have never prayed as often as I could ever recall.
Starting February 2009, I’ve sacrificed the next months waiting for the right job to accept that will favor me being a working mom. A lot of interviews came by but each time I thought I’m going to be offered, there are no more calls. I tried with my previous employer if they have an opening and the manager told me there isn’t any yet but will let me know once there is. Came May 2009, my kids and I flew to Singapore to spend their school vacation. I followed up with my previous employer if they have vacancies and the manager said there is. She invited me to a lunch to talk things over and I agreed to meet her. Our lunch meeting went on smoothly and she agreed to hire me once the resigning party on her team finalized her leave. I felt so blessed and thankful at that time that I was praying in my head while I was returning to my husband’s flat to break the good news.
Several months passed and I was finally offered a job to start on late October 2009. Our family became whole again on early December 2009. Joel and Josephine invited us again, as well as my hubby’s former officemate and friend Gedeon, to attend their weekly gatherings. We attended half-heartedly at first and we refused to attend their Sunday service as we were still attending Catholic Sunday services. Then, those invitations and gatherings are regarded as social interactions. It was towards end of year 2009 that we finally accepted Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Saviour through Bro. Kai Ming.
Slowly afterwards, we realized we were attending Hope Church’s Sunday service diligently. At first, I was awkward with the praise and worship styles as well as the way the words of God were preached of. But week after week, I realized I was feeling the presence of the Holy Spirit and Jesus Christ in my heart. That I finally heard Him talking to me. Assuring me. Loving me.
My relationship with my husband felt like we were newlyweds again – blossoming with love and support for each other. For the first time in many years, I finally felt that God gave me the right man to love and raise my children. We are now embarking on a new chapter in our lives with Christ in our midst. As the weeks progressed, the previously regarded obligations of caregroup and Sunday worship became an act of love that I was willing to do with obedience and offer my finest work in His name. I wanted involvement in my caregroup unit by sharing food, leading praise & worship and imparting my reflection and/or testimony of an entire week’s happenings in glory of His name. I was called upon to serve the Lord further as an usher and I was happy to become His instrument for spreading His good news. I do not claim to be the best in all of these services to the Lord but I do them because I love Him, I want to obey His words and I want others to know of His great love through my actions and the changes His love has done in my life and my family’s lives.
I am just thankful the Lord didn’t give up on me. Didn’t give up on sending wonderful people to let me know that He loves me. That He wants me to return to Him. That He is just waiting for me. I am full of joy and praise for His glory that I can't hide it.
Thank you Jesus, for saving my wretched soul and restoring me in Your Holy image.
I was raised as a Roman Catholic. I remember praying rosary with elders, singing in the choir and making the sign of the cross whenever I pass by a church or start and finish praying. I know God created me, He watches over me and He gives me what I need or ask for. But I also know Him as a God who punishes, that whenever bad things happen to me it’s because He is displeased. So when I was growing up I knew Him as something like a strict parent – do what I say or suffer the consequences.
When I was in elementary education, I am every parent’s dream. I am the top student in my class every year. I always came in first place in interschool competitions. I study diligently. I never fail to pray during these times and I always come to Him in prayer, especially when I need to ask Him for something like winning a contest or acing an exam. Before my graduation, I was offered scholarship to a prestigious high school near my town. I was ecstatic because I prayed so hard to achieve this. My joyous feelings lasted until I was interviewed by the head mistress. She asked if my parents are working and I told her my mother is a fish vendor while my father works as an overseas worker in the construction industry. Naïve as I was then, I thought telling the truth sets people free. But my answer made her decide to offer the scholarship to another candidate, who she deemed needs it more than I do. I was upset and angry because I know I deserve it – financially and intellectually. I hated God for not giving into my wishes – to get that scholarship. I questioned Him over and over on what I have done to deserve losing an opportunity when I’ve been nothing but a good girl. My mother decided to still enroll me in that school even though it meant she has to work harder because the tuition fees are high. I suppose that triggered the rebel in me and even though I didn’t fail any of my subjects until I finished high school, I also didn’t try to excel as much as I did in elementary school. I also wasn’t praying anymore, except when I really needed help – during exams for example. My mother was disappointed with me, as expected, but I didn’t care as I was only thinking of myself. When at times our quarrels worsen, I asked God to kill me at that moment and when He didn’t I blame him all over again.
College came knocking on my door and I studied just to pass as opposed to trying my very best. Just a semester away from receiving my bachelor degree, I got pregnant. Again, I was angry at Him for giving me this problem. I questioned His judgment to give me a life I am not prepared to take care of. I was afraid that my parents will disown me but to my amazement, they came to my rescue and helped me and my, then-boyfriend, hubby to start on a new chapter of our lives as parents.
But even after seeing the silver lining, trouble seems to have taken a liking to me. Our marriage proved to be unstable even after the birth of our next child. Few years passed still and our marital problems just seemed to keep on coming. In June 2005, I flew to Singapore for a new job opportunity. It seemed fitting for me – the workload was relevant yet not as stressful as my usual job requires and I’ve normal working hours (8:30am-6pm). The next year, my family followed and lived with me. For a moment, things seemed to feel and look better. During these times, our family got invited by Joel and Josephine to attend their weekly caregroup sessions. Sometimes we make it, most times we have an excuse why we are not able to. I thought it was weird to be like that – sing and talk about God the way they do. It’s just not normal for me. My understanding of singing to God is inside a church and the only one who can talk about him is the priest while the parishioners listen and obey.
In February 2007, I had a change of heart. I decided to not extend my job contract and return to Manila to accept a challenging role in a new company. My hubby was disappointed. It meant my kids and I have to leave him, as a few months before my decision he got accepted to a job. But he understood my decision in the end and let us go back. During this long distance relationship, our fights resumed. It came to a point when we almost called it quits finally. I suppose God intervened and He led one of his men to us, named Pastor Boy (my younger sister's Pastor) . He only counseled to us once but with his words, he brought His wisdom that enlightened me. That is when I’ve decided my kids and I will return to Singapore, to be with my husband, for us to be a family together again. From hereon, I have never prayed as often as I could ever recall.
Starting February 2009, I’ve sacrificed the next months waiting for the right job to accept that will favor me being a working mom. A lot of interviews came by but each time I thought I’m going to be offered, there are no more calls. I tried with my previous employer if they have an opening and the manager told me there isn’t any yet but will let me know once there is. Came May 2009, my kids and I flew to Singapore to spend their school vacation. I followed up with my previous employer if they have vacancies and the manager said there is. She invited me to a lunch to talk things over and I agreed to meet her. Our lunch meeting went on smoothly and she agreed to hire me once the resigning party on her team finalized her leave. I felt so blessed and thankful at that time that I was praying in my head while I was returning to my husband’s flat to break the good news.
Several months passed and I was finally offered a job to start on late October 2009. Our family became whole again on early December 2009. Joel and Josephine invited us again, as well as my hubby’s former officemate and friend Gedeon, to attend their weekly gatherings. We attended half-heartedly at first and we refused to attend their Sunday service as we were still attending Catholic Sunday services. Then, those invitations and gatherings are regarded as social interactions. It was towards end of year 2009 that we finally accepted Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Saviour through Bro. Kai Ming.
Slowly afterwards, we realized we were attending Hope Church’s Sunday service diligently. At first, I was awkward with the praise and worship styles as well as the way the words of God were preached of. But week after week, I realized I was feeling the presence of the Holy Spirit and Jesus Christ in my heart. That I finally heard Him talking to me. Assuring me. Loving me.
My relationship with my husband felt like we were newlyweds again – blossoming with love and support for each other. For the first time in many years, I finally felt that God gave me the right man to love and raise my children. We are now embarking on a new chapter in our lives with Christ in our midst. As the weeks progressed, the previously regarded obligations of caregroup and Sunday worship became an act of love that I was willing to do with obedience and offer my finest work in His name. I wanted involvement in my caregroup unit by sharing food, leading praise & worship and imparting my reflection and/or testimony of an entire week’s happenings in glory of His name. I was called upon to serve the Lord further as an usher and I was happy to become His instrument for spreading His good news. I do not claim to be the best in all of these services to the Lord but I do them because I love Him, I want to obey His words and I want others to know of His great love through my actions and the changes His love has done in my life and my family’s lives.
I am just thankful the Lord didn’t give up on me. Didn’t give up on sending wonderful people to let me know that He loves me. That He wants me to return to Him. That He is just waiting for me. I am full of joy and praise for His glory that I can't hide it.
Thank you Jesus, for saving my wretched soul and restoring me in Your Holy image.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
forgive and forsake
one very important aspect of living a Christian life is to forgive and forsake.
it is human nature to get angry and most of the time, sow hate in our hearts when somebody does something hurtful to us or betrays our trust. and yet, Jesus himself experienced the most hurt and betrayal anyone have ever faced yet people mocked him and still, He forgave them - forgave all of us sinners.
i've had my tiny bit of share of getting hurt and betrayed these past few days.
friday last week, i received news from my mom that she doesn't want to fly here in Singapore to help me with my kids. she says she's too fragile/old to go about much anymore. i was almost begging her to please come even for a few weeks but she politely refused. i know my mom doesn't want to hurt me, she even went on and on saying how sorry she was she cannot help me. but still, i got hurt. i was silently weeping all the way home then, my tears fall one at a time while i wipe them off. after that conversation, i asked God to guide me and give me the strength to cope with my problems since i know He won't give me one i cannot overcome. i had a sudden calm inside of me after that private talk. it made me sigh with relief.
but i suppose my faith in Him was still yet to be tested as yesterday, i discovered that someone i thought i could trust or rely on actually talks about me badly - told lies about me behind my back. this is someone who i thought i knew was a sweet person and yet turned out to have malicious thoughts or distorted vision of who i really am. those who really know and understand me, know that i'm not perfect but i'm not a bad person. i may be quiet most of the time, but it doesn't mean i loathe someone just because i don't talk much to them. and you know what shocked me most is that, i thought i was actually taking into consideration that person's feelings - there was no pressure, i tried to entertain that person in ways i can, considered that person's needs and future - and yet, it seemed to that person that i was mean and lazy. it freaked me out and made me very sad. the crying number a few days ago had an encore. i've decided to have a heart-to-heart talk with this person. my aim was to clarify everything that has been going on and to let me know whatever that person feels or thinks about me now, face to face. i will not go into details of what has transpired between us but i thought i clarified what i had to and promised to do what i can. that person's insights are welcome, bad or good - but i wanted it straight from the lion's mouth. that way, i will know a person's heart on a personal level - and not me knowing through other means. after this talk, i again sought God's embrace to pacify my soul and strengthen me, for i am strong when i am weak because Jesus revives me.
these trying times make me realize people hurt us, knowingly or not, but they do it most of the time. they disappoint us, betray us, abandon us. before i was a believer, i know i will take it to heart when someone crosses me. bury my hate there and never forget. but now? i forgive and forsake - let go of the angst and trespasses done to me. don't get me wrong, it is hard. very hard. but Jesus gave up so much more for you and i, so how can i compare that love to mine? surely, His offered salvation and forgiveness to mankind is priceless than my tiny sacrifices. and so, i have forgiven and forsaken these wrongdoings...
i pray to you my Lord: "My God, You are my anchor on a stormy sea, my serenity on a windy night, my hope when all else fails. Your presence surrounds me like a protective shield and when the arrows of my selfishness pierce through, Your loving arms extend themselves to reach out and grasp my wandering soul" (by Mother Angelica). May your peace and courage forever stay in my heart, O God, in Jesus' name. Amen.
it is human nature to get angry and most of the time, sow hate in our hearts when somebody does something hurtful to us or betrays our trust. and yet, Jesus himself experienced the most hurt and betrayal anyone have ever faced yet people mocked him and still, He forgave them - forgave all of us sinners.
i've had my tiny bit of share of getting hurt and betrayed these past few days.
friday last week, i received news from my mom that she doesn't want to fly here in Singapore to help me with my kids. she says she's too fragile/old to go about much anymore. i was almost begging her to please come even for a few weeks but she politely refused. i know my mom doesn't want to hurt me, she even went on and on saying how sorry she was she cannot help me. but still, i got hurt. i was silently weeping all the way home then, my tears fall one at a time while i wipe them off. after that conversation, i asked God to guide me and give me the strength to cope with my problems since i know He won't give me one i cannot overcome. i had a sudden calm inside of me after that private talk. it made me sigh with relief.
but i suppose my faith in Him was still yet to be tested as yesterday, i discovered that someone i thought i could trust or rely on actually talks about me badly - told lies about me behind my back. this is someone who i thought i knew was a sweet person and yet turned out to have malicious thoughts or distorted vision of who i really am. those who really know and understand me, know that i'm not perfect but i'm not a bad person. i may be quiet most of the time, but it doesn't mean i loathe someone just because i don't talk much to them. and you know what shocked me most is that, i thought i was actually taking into consideration that person's feelings - there was no pressure, i tried to entertain that person in ways i can, considered that person's needs and future - and yet, it seemed to that person that i was mean and lazy. it freaked me out and made me very sad. the crying number a few days ago had an encore. i've decided to have a heart-to-heart talk with this person. my aim was to clarify everything that has been going on and to let me know whatever that person feels or thinks about me now, face to face. i will not go into details of what has transpired between us but i thought i clarified what i had to and promised to do what i can. that person's insights are welcome, bad or good - but i wanted it straight from the lion's mouth. that way, i will know a person's heart on a personal level - and not me knowing through other means. after this talk, i again sought God's embrace to pacify my soul and strengthen me, for i am strong when i am weak because Jesus revives me.
these trying times make me realize people hurt us, knowingly or not, but they do it most of the time. they disappoint us, betray us, abandon us. before i was a believer, i know i will take it to heart when someone crosses me. bury my hate there and never forget. but now? i forgive and forsake - let go of the angst and trespasses done to me. don't get me wrong, it is hard. very hard. but Jesus gave up so much more for you and i, so how can i compare that love to mine? surely, His offered salvation and forgiveness to mankind is priceless than my tiny sacrifices. and so, i have forgiven and forsaken these wrongdoings...
i pray to you my Lord: "My God, You are my anchor on a stormy sea, my serenity on a windy night, my hope when all else fails. Your presence surrounds me like a protective shield and when the arrows of my selfishness pierce through, Your loving arms extend themselves to reach out and grasp my wandering soul" (by Mother Angelica). May your peace and courage forever stay in my heart, O God, in Jesus' name. Amen.
Friday, April 23, 2010
the world hates the disciples
because of human nature's response to feelings, don't you just hate it when somebody hates you? (oh the irony!)
i overheard a conversation yesterday in the MRT while i was on my way home. two tertiary students (a male and a female) are expressing their distaste for another student in their course or organization (they didn't really give details for me to be sure) that apparently posts bulletins in their boards about bible verses. they mentioned he is a Christian. to make the long (and saddening for me to hear) story short, the female summarized it by saying, "He should stop doing that. Nobody gives a shit."
although i know it could be hurtful for that person to actually hear people talking about him like that, i'm sure as a Christian he will also understand why they speak of him like that. for Jesus said, "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you." (John 15:18)
the world does not want Jesus' love. no matter what He did - even if He sacrificed and died on the cross - as the girl said, "Nobody gives a shit."
i suppose partly, she is right. but i think the part where she got it wrong is that Christians aren't nobodies. we are God's children. we belong to Him. we love Him and He loves us. so i only feel pity for "nobodies" for they are missing out big time in their lives - Jesus' love and redemption for our sins.
i am in that time of my life whereas as a Christian, i also want to bring other people close to God as my caregroup family has done for me. i pray to God that He continuously give me the strength and ability to invite people to have a relationship with Jesus, with The Father. although the entire world may not believe in Jesus, or even though all my invitations get turned down, i will still try my best to spread His good news and reach out to people that could be like myself - just waiting to be awakened spritually and be saved from sins & eternal death.
i overheard a conversation yesterday in the MRT while i was on my way home. two tertiary students (a male and a female) are expressing their distaste for another student in their course or organization (they didn't really give details for me to be sure) that apparently posts bulletins in their boards about bible verses. they mentioned he is a Christian. to make the long (and saddening for me to hear) story short, the female summarized it by saying, "He should stop doing that. Nobody gives a shit."
although i know it could be hurtful for that person to actually hear people talking about him like that, i'm sure as a Christian he will also understand why they speak of him like that. for Jesus said, "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you." (John 15:18)
the world does not want Jesus' love. no matter what He did - even if He sacrificed and died on the cross - as the girl said, "Nobody gives a shit."
i suppose partly, she is right. but i think the part where she got it wrong is that Christians aren't nobodies. we are God's children. we belong to Him. we love Him and He loves us. so i only feel pity for "nobodies" for they are missing out big time in their lives - Jesus' love and redemption for our sins.
i am in that time of my life whereas as a Christian, i also want to bring other people close to God as my caregroup family has done for me. i pray to God that He continuously give me the strength and ability to invite people to have a relationship with Jesus, with The Father. although the entire world may not believe in Jesus, or even though all my invitations get turned down, i will still try my best to spread His good news and reach out to people that could be like myself - just waiting to be awakened spritually and be saved from sins & eternal death.
Monday, April 19, 2010
speak no evil
back in my college days, one of my favorite past times is to find fault at a passerby. whether it be a bad haircut, fashion victim getup or even a God-given facial deformity, i am sure to make fun of it for my pleasure's sake. i find it fun to do so, because i think it's harmless - i don't humiliate the person in front of spectators, just in my head.
but now that i am with Christ, i am steering away from that evil deed. the usually so easy-to-do criticizing makes me feel very weary-hearted. it sucks the life out of me.
it does not make one "cool" to speak ill of someone, even if one is your enemy or if doing so will make one belong to a crowd of people urging you to do so.
for Jesus said, "But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man unclean." (Matthew 15:18 NIV)
anyway, isn't it easier to speak of good things all the time? most especially, words of praise to our Lord Jesus Christ! \0/
PRAISE BE TO YOU MY LORD!
but now that i am with Christ, i am steering away from that evil deed. the usually so easy-to-do criticizing makes me feel very weary-hearted. it sucks the life out of me.
it does not make one "cool" to speak ill of someone, even if one is your enemy or if doing so will make one belong to a crowd of people urging you to do so.
for Jesus said, "But the things that come out of the mouth come from the heart, and these make a man unclean." (Matthew 15:18 NIV)
anyway, isn't it easier to speak of good things all the time? most especially, words of praise to our Lord Jesus Christ! \0/
PRAISE BE TO YOU MY LORD!
Friday, April 9, 2010
i know God loves me, i should not question it
because of our (human) nature, it is easy to fall prey to our emotions whether it be positive or negative. today, i felt two of them - anger and disappointment.
last week, i asked a favor from my sister to send some stuff to me thru a friend who is currently in Manila. to cut the long story short, my sister and my friend didn't meet because my friend forgot to call my sister. by the time i called my friend to check up on how are their meeting is doing, i learnt that she was already flying out of Manila that evening. i got sad but since am just asking a favor from my friend, i got over it in a snap. i learned that my friend's sister-in-law is still in Manila as well and will be going back to Singapore soon thereafter so i just contacted her. she was accomodating and agreed to take my stuff to me thru my sis. i emailed my sis about it and she replied in agreement. the day after i emailed her, my friend's SIL alerted me that my sis haven't contacted her yet. i got annoyed and disappointed because i would hate to waste another opportunity for my stuff to get to me. so earlier i sent her an email telling her to contact the person ASAP as i don't want for days to pass by again and forgetting about the package delivery yet once more. probably because she's pressured and tired from her work, she replied hinting annoyance at me. i quickly realized at that moment that i've been totally unfair to her. the things she will be sending to me won't even get sent to me in the first place if not for her help (and money) yet i have the nerve to boss her around and hurry her into doing my bidding. i readily apologized and asked nicely that she do it for me as a favor. she calmed and replied that she'll be doing so.
this scenario made me realize that because i know my sister loves me and would do things for me, even if she's tired or have other plans/priorities, that i have totally forgotten that i should still be grateful and gracious to her gestures towards me. then in comparison is how far greater so with Jesus' love. i know that He is always there for me, always listening to me, always guiding me, always loving me. but oftentimes, i find myself acting towards Him like i just did with my sister - i even have the callousness to question His intentions in spite of all the blessings He shower me with.
and so today i learned that whatever I may need, it will be given to me in His time, according to His will. i have to be patient and always be grateful.
last week, i asked a favor from my sister to send some stuff to me thru a friend who is currently in Manila. to cut the long story short, my sister and my friend didn't meet because my friend forgot to call my sister. by the time i called my friend to check up on how are their meeting is doing, i learnt that she was already flying out of Manila that evening. i got sad but since am just asking a favor from my friend, i got over it in a snap. i learned that my friend's sister-in-law is still in Manila as well and will be going back to Singapore soon thereafter so i just contacted her. she was accomodating and agreed to take my stuff to me thru my sis. i emailed my sis about it and she replied in agreement. the day after i emailed her, my friend's SIL alerted me that my sis haven't contacted her yet. i got annoyed and disappointed because i would hate to waste another opportunity for my stuff to get to me. so earlier i sent her an email telling her to contact the person ASAP as i don't want for days to pass by again and forgetting about the package delivery yet once more. probably because she's pressured and tired from her work, she replied hinting annoyance at me. i quickly realized at that moment that i've been totally unfair to her. the things she will be sending to me won't even get sent to me in the first place if not for her help (and money) yet i have the nerve to boss her around and hurry her into doing my bidding. i readily apologized and asked nicely that she do it for me as a favor. she calmed and replied that she'll be doing so.
this scenario made me realize that because i know my sister loves me and would do things for me, even if she's tired or have other plans/priorities, that i have totally forgotten that i should still be grateful and gracious to her gestures towards me. then in comparison is how far greater so with Jesus' love. i know that He is always there for me, always listening to me, always guiding me, always loving me. but oftentimes, i find myself acting towards Him like i just did with my sister - i even have the callousness to question His intentions in spite of all the blessings He shower me with.
and so today i learned that whatever I may need, it will be given to me in His time, according to His will. i have to be patient and always be grateful.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
declaring my love for Him to the world
i've known about Jesus Christ since i was in primary school. my grandmother and aunt likes to pray the Rosary a lot. we have a Bible in the house. my mother always tells me to do the sign of the cross whenever we pass churches. these and everything else i've known about Him is because i had to say it in a prayer prayed over and over or forced unto us at school to later on be tested at quizzes. but i've never encountered Him as i now do until i joined Kuya Joel's caregroup under Hope Church.
you may ask, what's a caregroup? basically, it a smaller family of faith where you connect with other members spritiually and maybe even more. most of my caregroup's members have families, so our kids mingle with each other as we parents do as well. we encourage one another to be stronger in our faith and help out in areas we can in each other lives. we meet once a week to praise God, thank Him for His blessings and reflect on His words.
at first, i won't deny i was skeptical. i thought this was all gimmick or had strings attached. as i continuously interact with these people, attending Sunday service diligently, then i got it. it was all for the love of Jesus. these people are good because they've experienced God's goodness and it transformed them. my family and i are no strangers to problems and trials as i know my co-caregroupers are as well. but because they have a deeper relationship with Jesus, they continuously strive to be in His likeness.
and when i realized that i wanted Jesus to be in my heart and stay there forever to be my Savior, i knew i was born again.
you may ask, what's a caregroup? basically, it a smaller family of faith where you connect with other members spritiually and maybe even more. most of my caregroup's members have families, so our kids mingle with each other as we parents do as well. we encourage one another to be stronger in our faith and help out in areas we can in each other lives. we meet once a week to praise God, thank Him for His blessings and reflect on His words.
at first, i won't deny i was skeptical. i thought this was all gimmick or had strings attached. as i continuously interact with these people, attending Sunday service diligently, then i got it. it was all for the love of Jesus. these people are good because they've experienced God's goodness and it transformed them. my family and i are no strangers to problems and trials as i know my co-caregroupers are as well. but because they have a deeper relationship with Jesus, they continuously strive to be in His likeness.
and when i realized that i wanted Jesus to be in my heart and stay there forever to be my Savior, i knew i was born again.
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